Maybe it's just me, but I could have a zit the size and deep red color of an heirloom tomato on my forehead and not have the slightest clue.
Until someone says, "Dude, uh, you've got a bit of a zit there."
Then, it's like you can feel it... pulsing... moving a little... even growing.
Two seconds earlier you were oblivious, and now it's like you've grown another limb.
That's what my heart feels like today.
I had the "Come on in! You won't believe our prices!! We've gone CRAZY!!!" heart scan today.
I was expecting a zero. Or a 100. Or whatever number is next to "Why the hell are you even in here" in the How-to-Interpret-your-Calcium-Score table.
Instead, I got a 13.67.
13.67 > 0.0. That much I know. I was a math major.
Reading further, a score of 1-100 is "Minimal to mild plaque burden. Likely mild or minimal coronary stenosis."
Holy. Fudging. Shoot.*
I don't want ANY coronary ANYTHING, mild, minimal, or otherwise!
Ever since the nice nurse handed me the paper with black lines on either side of three sections of a drawing of a Left Anterior Descending artery, I can feel my very favorite Left Anterior Descending artery.
You're not supposed to feel your heart. Ok, during a break-up, or after the loss of a loved one, your chest feels like a black hole. But this is different. This is physical.
I don't like being aware of my heart.
My heart should be like an ice maker, or the sewer system, or GE... always there, toiling away, doing good work while you go about your life.
My cholesterol is under control, but hasn't always been. HDL and Triglycerides are good. My LDL (the evil half of the cholesterol twins) is a skosh high. That's the french fries. And Ruebens. And the Frisco Melts. And eating pulled pork for breakfast.
So, it's diet.
Apparently exercise isn't enough.
Numbers: 1.3 miles. To elevate my mood, I went karting over lunch. While the sun was out. Came out to rain, which hasn't stopped. It's 6:00pm. So I ran in a steady rain, with an unrelenting chilly breeze. Made me hungry for a warm plate of fries.
*Very nearly what I was thinking.