Also turns out I live big on my own. And there are a lot of amazing, beautiful, wonderful women out there.
I've spent a lot of time living kinda big, trying to show those in my life how to live big.
Unencumbered, loose from the weight of those following me, those drafting off of my ability to strangle the most out of a day, I've hit a stride I'd forgotten I had.
The perfect sample moment was last week in NYC. Sitting across from a lovely new friend, sharing a breathtaking meal, and even better Italian wine, our scintillating, fun, wide-ranging, never the slightest bit dull, insanely interesting conversation moved to jazz.
"I used to hate jazz. It was too messy, no order at all. Now, I love jazz. Why?", she says.
"Maybe because now that you see that the 'perfect, orderly life' doesn't always stay that way you can appreciate the messiness of jazz", I tell her.
"But music is mathematical. It has rules. Jazz doesn't follow the rules", she says.
"Life, if properly lived, doesn't always make sense, and there certainly aren't any rules.", I posit.
"Fuck. You're right. That's why I like jazz", she says. "Jazz is like an unsolved math problem."
Those of you who know of my long love affair with mathematics can imagine my swoon.
That's just 45 seconds out of a 3 hour dinner conversation. And every second was that good.
Even if I never see her again, I will carry every second of that evening with me. And really, isn't that how we should try to live? Shouldn't we be collecting those moments that change us, that open our eyes, that put us into a new place in our own lives?
Though that night was the highlight of my work week in NYC, the whole week was a bag chock full of wonderful moments, both personal and professional. And none of those moments would have happened if I hadn't been there alone.
My motto is "Live wide open, eat well, travel far, run often, seek out amazing people, don't waste time on the dull, and love... love big."
I'm not giving up on love, but I'm not obsessing over it either. And moreover, I'm not about to sacrifice my thirst for living a great, full life for anyone.
I'm casting a wide net, setting the bar very high, and waiting patiently to see if I find anyone who can clear that bar, someone who can keep up with me.*
In the meantime, I am living a fantastic life, meeting interesting people, and eating some outrageously great food.
Oh, and running quite well, thank you very much.
*If you, dear reader, think you have the perfect woman for me, please let me know. Like I said, I'm casting a wide net. I'm all for meeting amazing people.